throwback 4 month - prevention is better than cure ^_^

       throwback Sambil sambil tggu turn dkt klinik kita upate blog dlu kejap... SubhanaAllah. Berdebo debo nye ase hari ni xtau nape.. SubhanaAllah.. Xtau knape mesti rase mcm ni hri ni.. Ape y xkne. Xtau n xpaham.. Well something is changing n its not cool.. Kind of hurt... Why did u change.. Hurtful sometime... But its ok.. Its time to change.. So many thing have change.. N changes hurt sometime.. nevermind.. forget it..

InsyaAllah

       so now its been one month and 1 week or more or less already 40 day plus after the operation. banyak yang aku hadapi banyak yang aku lalui banyak jugak yang aku belajar. Belajar menjadi seseorg y lebih redho, tabah, sabar n bersyukur dgn setiap apa y berlaku n setiap apa y ada pada diri aku. menjadi seorg pelajar dan seorg pesakit. komitment aku as a student y nk end of the sem paham2 la dgn exm nye lg, project presentation nye, project documentation nya, group discussion in 2 weeks kne hadap sume tu n dengan sakit nya y memerlukan komitment untk selalu dijaga rapi dgn setiap hari mencucinya di klinik lg. hmmm... pengalaman kesakitan kesusahan kesenangan mengajar erti kehidupan..

       when i look back 29/11/14 aku operate n 11/1/15 alhamdulillah aku da dpt bebas diri dari klinik da xpayah gi dressing kat klinik dah hoorey hoorey. klu sblm ni aku bgaikan mandi x basah tidur xlena mkn x lalu, skung.. huhi.. i is bebas.. happy.. alhamdulillah ya Allah. Aku sakit Dia penyembuh. Alhamdulillah. aku da boleh dressing luka sndri, luka dah cantik dah tapi still risau sikit psl luka dalam lah hopefully sume ok ok belaka. 19/1/15 ni oppoitment nga dokte.. hope dpt good news.. just say i am so fine n healthy already. xsia2 pengorbanan, usaha n kesabaran mase sakit tu. finaly luka dah cantik n i feel so fine now. tapi mak cakap still ne mkn ubat n jaga makan, masih perlu berpantang supaya lagi cepat sembuh. 

       klu cerita pantang makan ni actually dah lame bebenau dah aku pantang mkn, sejak tau sakit ni bukan sakit biasa lagi. Aku lagi berjaga2 psl mkn no more fast food, maggi, aji namoto n etc. aku just mkn fresh food mcm more green n healthy food. rajin plak masak sndri time tu. by the way aku rindu sgt nak mkn mcm2 tapi sabar jek la. u olls know what, since sakit dah 4 bulan ni before operate tu aku dah lose weight tau which is something y aku sgt2 idam-idam kan. ^_^ da kurus sikit.. so happy sbb lose weight tapi actually lose weight sbb hati xsenang memikirkan ape la sbnrnya penyakit aku ni. mandi x basah tidur xlena mkn x lalu asyik sakit jek. sedih mengingatkan balik time tu hari2 nangis jek. skali sakit skali nangis n tambah lagi teringat y i am all alone sedihnya. then aku try gak search dekat google psl sakit aku ni sume dlm google cakap sakit aku ni seyes n symptom2 y ade tu ada persamaan dgn org y sakit breast cancer. ya Allah lagi aku takut. takut sgt xbole nk pk rase xtau nk cakap apa. pendam sorg2. tapi its ok i manage to go though all by my own meneruskan juga kehidupan ni seperti biasa, gagahi juge diri ni untk g kls n menjalan kan segala komintment n tanggungjawab as student, no escape. life must go on no matter what pain should not effect my life. ye la tu.. 

       happy sbb da kurus sikit. sume org tegur knape dah kurus ni nmpk sgt aku sblm ni gemuk sgt kan tapi spe y risau sbb aku dah kurus jgn risau lg tau sbb aku dh gain weight balik dah. dah chubby smule mak aku ckp la sbb aku xpasti da lme xtimbang tapi body rase berat jek. kuang3x. sbb lps exm aku dh balik hometown dgn mommy n daddy depan mata. hati dah snng mkn banyak walaupun ne pantang i've gain weight.. hahahha.. da gemok balik la.. sedih nye.. nk ne balik diet ni.. aduaii... aku dengar diet atkins bagos gak dah pernah try dah turun dah kelaut n dah naik smula. kuang3x. xistiqomah. boleh try bagi org y nak berdiet. suggested diet atkins.

       by the way, pasal pak cik google tu kadang2 bila kita sakit tend to cari if symptom2 tu ade persamaan dgn sakit2 merbahaya y lain x, klu itu y kita cari itulah y kita dapat. n dari pengalaman aku info tu bagus tapi its not that accurate n it must be like "same mcm sakit aku lah, ya Allah aku da kne sakit cancer ke?" "then terus rasa down n fikir mcm2" kind of that situation sometime makes ur mind set and emotion to be disturbed and down. somehow its not so good. prediction is always a prediction must not be true. better if u find if its similar then lets go n seek for the pakar dalam hal sakit2 ni. do the check up seek the dokte jumpe dokte let see what the dokte say. i've done that after the searching n analysis aku g jmpe dokte gak 2 kali n dokte pn predict the same thing. 2 different dokte say the same prediction. scares me a lot. thinking of that i think i am dying. how come, healthy women became sick just like that without any acknowledgment. how its happen why its happen. left unknown. not letting it became true not letting my self down not letting people know i am sick since my face turn pale. sick people face is always pale 4 month goes just like that. not making it become true not letting me accept it as if it is, 

       i try my best to find the ubat as early prevention. i just find any that says cancer early killer. any of those i will just find n take it. As told broccoli, cauliflower, ikan, ayam amik bahagia dada jek, olive oil, salmon oil, evening primrose oil, habatussaudah, air zam - zam, kurma nabi as ubat early prevention to cancer so i force my self take all that. no more fast food, , menda2 sejuk, kacang, meat[kind of sakit bila mkn daging lme dh xmkn daging] struggle my self for all those thing to kill the pain since dokte only give me the pain killer which is i think not so good for me coz its only kill the pain for a second afterward i get the pain back even to sleep is also painful. i learnt to be strong physically n mentally. i need support n the only support i get is only from me n my self. how? bnykkan solat sunat n baca al quran. only that can kill the thinking of the pain. Allah help me to go though all this. only Allah y berkuasa atas sesuatu. to be sick and get well again. hanya Allah y maha berkuasa. what we think is what we get. mind set. celik hati celik minda. minda mempunyai kuasa penyembuhan. its all up to us to get well or to get sick.if u take it positively then positive things will come to u. tapi as saying goes jugak klu menda tu da ketentuan ilahi untk dia so what will happen will happen jgk la kan tapi as human kita tak boleh putus asa keep pray n hope for the best. never give up hope life must go on no matter what. we deserve to be happy.

so, dont be stupid. dont follow the negative taught. if u think u're sick, u are not sick enough yet  

be grateful n fight n dont be stupid and give up hopes

i am happy i am fine now. its time to move on.. i've grow up i've learnt something

i think its never to late to wish

happy 2015

i am ready to move on and open the new books 

and write new story and lesson of life success and failure. 

InsyaAllah.

 

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